Sunday 3 March 2013

Doppelgänger: Anna Carmina Antonio & Golda Soller


Golda Soller was a candidate in 2012 and even by all standards and measures she wasn't really your typical beauty pageant girl, no one made a fuss. Not a whisper of hate. Why? Because she's a doctor! In an interview, she put it this way- some struggled to remember her name, but everyone knew she was a doctor and you know how Filipinos are when they meet a doctor! They shamelessly ask medical questions!

Anna Carmina Antonio's resume on the other hand simply lists her latest achievements as being a former Ms  Philippine Youth-Tourism and oh, she's also currently magic tricks and hand eye illusions...mmm..but why?????? Lol

Wednesday 27 February 2013

I miss Jaysel Arrozal

Nothing more endearing than a 'try and try until you succeed' spirit.

Hello, of course I'm being sarcastic.!

Missosology's 1st Draft Picks: really???


Really?? Remetillo? Cindy Miranda??

Calm down my maid Natasha tells me, kana-kanyang opinion yan!

Exactly- my maid's opinion is as good as missosology.org's!

Tuesday 26 February 2013

Soooo Gay; Ma. Bencelle Bianzon


When her photo came up prior to the callbacks I thought, finally someone with an overt sex appeal but still keeping it classy. If Ria Rabajante and Charmaine Elima play it coy and restrained, Ma. Bencelle Bianzon will bring out a much more sensual allure.

But when I saw the video for the callbacks, it was my maid Natasha, looking over my shoulder, who sort of pricked my bubble.

Ano ba yan, parang bakla! Ang nagturo siyempre bakla kaya ayan, parang bakla kung kumilos.

True, true. Not true. There was a time when every gay parlorista was coaching every neighbourhood santacruzan queen with nothing but a book in lieu of a crown and Kenny G. instrumental music playing in the background. But we've become better- now we even have Ateneo lawyers teaching projection and gym trainers polishing awkward wrist movements.

But obviously, Bencelle's trainer (or possibly the lack of one) didn't get the memo.

Charmaine Elima is It, It, It










































I should be in bed or doing my laundry because the maid is gone and has probably hooked up with a random text mate again but I'm possessed with putting Charmaine Elima's head over every bitch who attended the Oscars.

Or on anyone else's for that matter.

Her symmetry is crazy perfect even if she does have a sort of overbite that's only visible when you're looking at her from the side.

And she can get so dark and haggard (like in the callbacks I think) that she ends looking up looking like Parul Shah whose idea of a smile is a tight squint that there's visible line or fold on her forehead.

Not good.

And why is it that finals night is a million years away??? Who can withstand nearly 5 weeks of tension, bad BPCI catering and gawkers?


Charmaine Elima is probably IT


Sunday 24 February 2013

This side-eye is brought to you by...


..Aiyana Camille Mikiewicz who probably has a million other such shots in her phone, her iPod, her laptop etc etc.

Whoever convinced her that this is the money shot is robbing her blind. It's so awkward when she tries to take a side peek because she is rigidly fixed forward; a pity really because given a little work- and that photographer banished- she could be a contender.

Saturday 23 February 2013

doppelgänger


The worst thing that could happen to a beauty pageant contender is when she's compared to a previous non-winning contender. And so she looks and realises that yes, they do look alike and already it's over. The fate of her doppelganger will probably be her own fate as well.

It does pay to research, to get away from what had already been seen and heard.

So, can you tell your dentist Maria Ivy Kristel Gonzales to take your braces off??? Methinks don't bother because it really won't make a difference.

The MJ Lastimosa Curse


Every year there are girls who seem to catch the fervid attention and loyalty of fans but never quite the judge's. They seem to have it all and yet utterly fail. In 2011 (which to me had a much better batch of girls than this year's) Mary Jane Lastimosa and Diana Arevalo stood out on fan wish-lists. So passionate was the support you'd think the bitches had suddenly become straight.

But alas, from a 2011 2nd runner-up finish, 2012 had it even worse- MJ Lastimosa was not even in the top 5.

Even if Janine Tugonon hadn't done as well as she did in MU, the assumption that any of the other girls-MJ Lastimosa included- would have done better would still have been in the realm of conjecture.

We just wouldn't know. And yet beauty is such a gut feel that it's more than the sum of a pageant's parts and even my gut was not feeling for MJ Lastimosa or even the utterly boring Diana Arevalo. In 2011, I knew Shamcey was IT and yet was rooting for Patricia Tumulak and all those other girls who do try again, but this time, presenting something different on the table. It may be a new nose, but hey, I'll take a fake nose any day over the same old thing I had seen last year.

And there's also the matter of fitting yourself to the crown you want because we all know that the crown is picky on which girl's head it wants to sit on. Read an entry on this blog that explains it perfectly.

For 2013, the curse is possibly sitting next to Ariella Arida. A blogger describes her perfectly, ' she has a quiet impact at first. But can turn deadly the next..(normannormannormannormannorman)'

My gut feel is telling me that it's going to be a long fruitless wait.

Binibini Look-ALikes












































Antique girl Maria Sofia Gloria Mustonen is a young Julianna Margulies. If you were given a choice, would you rather have a weak nose or a strong jawline?



the evolution of Merry Joyce Respicio


I'm sorry but having a flat nose just doesn't create symmetry. In pageants, you just need symmetry. Filipinos are clever in the sense that they never seek cosmetic surgery to get it, just as long as what you're working with isn't too hopeless to begin with. Case in point is Janine Tugonon who is not really a remarkable beauty in the facial department (MU photographer Fadil Berisha ALWAYS had Janine look away from the camera...look at me directly bitch and I'm gonna give you a bitch slappin.) but was worked on by her management team to get everything just right- and she did (even if 80% of how she almost won Miss Universe was actually her personality).

And here you have Merry Joyce Respicio who could have used a few spare centimeters off her tall frame into where it counted, but then you don't see her complaining.

Someone behind her is trying mighty hard to get the facial symmetry right.

I hate...


I hate Czarina Gatbonton; completely lacking in personality, charm or excitement. She was bad luck personified that she was the last BPCI titlist for Ms World before Cory Quirino snatched the franchise away with her yoga-toned, coconut-oil firmed fingers..

Here she is utterly looking like a domestic raiding the 2-dollar shops in downtown Hongkong..

unfortunate facial parts


When I first saw Mariel Angelica De Leon, I thought, there's the Rumer Willis of the Philippines. For those who don't know who Rumer is, she's the spawn of first-class cougar Demi Moore and action grandpa Bruce Willis. Rumer unfortunately came out looking like that which might not be bad actually except that her parents are famous.

So now Rumer is forever trying to distract us from her unsettling looking mug with different hairstyles, cavorting in bikinis and even fronting a rock band (doesn't everyone in LA???).

But I don't think that Sandy Andolong and Christopher De Leon's daughter needs to do those things. Mariel is actually stunning.

And young! Plenty of time to melt the baby fat from all the right places..

Spitted out


Is it possible that we have way too many pageants??? Too many that it spits out winners like these?? (photo pilfered from some blog called normannormannormannormannorman lol).


ur onor



















































Don't know who she is and don't care. Anybody who looks like that while talking to a microphone should immediately be disqualified.

Mercegrace Raquel is uhm too chimay looking



















































There's exotic looking and there's chimay looking. I think Mercegrace Raquel is the latter. The first time I laid my eyes on her I immediately thought of my favorite child-star-of-the-moment Ryzza Mae Dizon. Don't try putting two and two together and say that Ryzza is chimay looking as well because well, please exempt the children!

Nobody raised an eyebrow when Ryzza probably became the first 'unconventional' winner of Little Miss Philippines, but then when you're a child, you're simply cute. Your lack of a proper nose bridge is endearing.

But not when you're all grown up and competing for Bb. Pilipinas!! Oh lord have merce on us!